Military life is synonymous with movement for the officer and his family. A ‘posting’ is a regular and frequent feature and one of the most challenging aspects of military life. An army officer and his family clearly understand that throughout professional life, they will be posted from one station to another all over Pakistan. Active duty imposes a unique and often stressful lifestyle on couples and families; even in peacetime, frequent duty location changes can interrupt valued support networks and children's education. Moving is considered to be a normative military family stressor but can be disruptive in numerous ways, impacting all members of a military family. Beyond having to find housing and set up a new household, there is a lack of continuity in a variety of areas: families need to get established with new healthcare providers, children must change schools and spouses have to adjust to the new location.

Despite this knowledge and the fact that it’s done repeatedly, a posting significantly impacts the family. I believe that for the officer, the spirit and pride of the profession they have chosen and the work and experience awaiting the next posting dilute the psychological and functional impact of the posting. Still, for the wife, the adjustment to a new place is experienced differently and has its challenges that may be perceived differently from person to person but have an overarching theme.
Military-related relocation stress and its psychological implications for its military partners can be navigated throughly and the inevitable reality of postings can become a fulfilling experience. Let’s first try to understand the impact  on physical and mental health. 
Psychology shows that relocations are one of the most stressful aspects of one’s life as it’s connected to losing something one has built. A military wife spends time and energy building a home for the family. She has to find schools for the children, set up the house allotted by the military, and work with what is available to the best of her ability. There is a requirement to be part of certain clubs and to fulfil duties as an officer’s wife. There is a social circle one is part of and obliged to be in contact with regularly.
The important thing is that an entire life starts to build and a lot of time, effort, and energy is put into it. After a year or two, that life has to start from scratch all over again. New friends to make. Adjusting the house belonging to a different house. Children have to adjust to a new school and make friends all over again. Even though kids are sometimes very resilient and adapt to changes easily, moves can affect them in various ways.
To have a happy and overall healthy childhood, children need stability and regular routines that make them feel emotionally safe. Changing schools frequently and losing their friends often lead to anxiety, so they will feel like an outsider every time and will need time to fit in as they learn to swim in new waters every time. This displacement is especially hard on teenage girls as adolescence itself is a hard transition between childhood and adulthood and friends are the most important resource for self-growth and support. Moving from one location to another means losing friends and being forced to make new ones. Many teenagers experience low self-esteem and according to a study in Colombia, teenagers who relocate so often are more prone to anxiety and depression than others.

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the need for safety and belonging comes before any other need and so an army family gravitates towards the fulfilment of that need over and over again and a change may interrupt the process.
When a military family moves there is often a strain on finances and house belongings can get destroyed which is distressing for a housewife. Also, if the spouse is working, her professional career will always take a backseat which can make her feel frustrated.
Moving is stressful. Even if you’ve been looking forward to the move, relocating can trigger or aggravate a sense of depression which is often called “relocation depression.” Relocating can be a difficult change that can affect your mental health. An individual may experience symptoms of depression, such as feelings of sadness, lack of pleasure, and fatigue. Relocation depression can also affect the appetite, sleep, and ability to focus. One is bound to experience anxiety associated with the move and adapting to a new space which can trigger deep but temporary sadness. Although feelings of sadness and even emptiness when moving can be painful, these symptoms generally do not qualify for a clinical diagnosis. Or can be considered depression unless it persists.
So, how can the wives take care of theirs and the family’s mental health at the time of posting? Firstly, allow yourself to feel sad for the home you leave even when you are excited for the next place. Remember that it is natural to feel upset after relocating so permit yourself to feel your emotions. Try to stay connected with friends from the previous station so that the feelings of loss can dissipate. Be open to making new connections, and those already stationed in these posts should welcome the new families. One thing that can help is a sense of continuity so try to set up your new home with old and familiar things. Getting into a new routine might help you feel less unsettled. It can also help you practise healthy self-care habits that support your mental health, such as meditating or eating balanced, nutritious meals regularly to support your brain and body. Try to find some form of exercise as it can play an important role in self-regulation. Moving is difficult, even if you don’t experience relocation depression, so reach out for support from a loved one or friend. It is okay to feel sad and frustrated and just because this change was expected, doesn’t mean you have to suppress your emotions. The officers should also understand and emotionally support their families by holding space for them to express how they feel. Permission to express emotions can help in the adjustment period and it can be helpful to journal your feelings. I think the fact that military life offers social activities and access to clubs for families is a big benefit.
Having said that, this way of life also teaches resilience, the ability to be flexible, and experience frustration that facilitates inner growth and encourages adaptability for any situation. It is important that the military family honours itself and feels proud for the support it offers so the officers can serve the country.

She’s a British Association For Counselling and Psychotherapy credited individual & couple psychotherapist based in Islamabad.
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