For decades women have been tantalized by a promise you can have it all. A fulfilling career, a loving spouse, loyal friends, hobbies, a dedicated workout regime, and a skincare routine. All it takes is a little balance. But there is no balance—only a fickle idea as impossible to grasp as sunlight in your hands. The never-ending chase of this balance has been tiring for women and must be discussed.

Women are tired; tired of chasing this idea, of the guilt they feel for what society construes as their failures, of the subtle understanding that unless they are crushing life in all areas, they are perhaps not doing well enough.
This biological fantasy of "having it all" in the present time is the result of a cultural myth that a woman's life should look like the perfect Instagram grid: like the hand-picked and braided mix of professional success, an actively involved working mother, busy designing activities for her children, a housewife indulged in DIY projects and reforming her space on her own, a working mother of four or two posting herself running errands and cooking delectable meals. However, beneath the filter, this tale is just another iteration of the superwoman trope. Move fast, work hard, get everything done, and do it seamlessly. Yet it is also important to realize that even the made-up icons did not balance children, career, and family to-do lists. This myth is particularly questionable, not least because of social media. Instead, perfectly curated walls of aesthetic routines, flawless family photos, and ever-framed snapshots provide a facade of perfection. These images are aspirational, yes, but they also plant the seeds for dissatisfaction. It becomes a show, with women not only attempting to live up to the cultural ideal  of a balanced life but also packaging that life to appear balanced to others. This builds hope but also a sense of discontentment.
To begin with, the term itself is worryingly ambiguous and vague. What does “having it all" truly mean? Who defines it? And why does that "all" often consist of women being the first to rise, ensuring perfection in every role as a mother, daughter, wife, or sister before facing a full day of work at home or outside those four walls? The word ‘balance’ has inspired a thousand wellness blogs and almost as many midlife crises. Balance is not just unrealistic; it is a misbelief that all aspects of life matter the same amount. That is not how life works. On some days, work is more demanding than family. On others, family is. And sometimes, perhaps the most important business priority will be sitting on the sofa in your pajamas binge-watching an awful Netflix series.
Balance does not mean perfectly splitting time and energy across all roles. It is the art of recalibrating all the time. Less glamorous than the myth makes it sound. That is missing a work deadline because your kid had a high fever. It is a dinner with no conversation. You are too tired to talk or say no to another project because your mental health is hanging by a thread, and you know it.
Women's journeys are fraught with both grit and glee, yet the modern tale of piecing together the perfect life—one of billable hours, toddler tantrums, and Insta-happy family photos — is the crack that belittles that battle of real life. Rather than honoring the difficult decisions women face each day, the myth of balance molds those standards into a shaming reality that women will never be able to meet. If we think less about balance (or the mythical "all") and more about fulfilment... Not the shiny, Instagram-able type, but the kind that frosts life if we live in integrity with our values. Some may look to conquer the corporate world, while others reduce their footprint to focus on family, self-improvement, or serving their community. By the way, fulfillment is not one size fits all and does not need to fit on a vision board.
However, this shift demands more than individual contemplation. It requires systemic change. The paradigm of productivity needs to shift to include rest as a virtue for the betterment of our society. We need to confront the narratives that tie women to these promises and instead invite them to pursue lives that are flawed yet authentic and real.
So, the next time someone says, ‘How do you balance it all?’ Feel free to say, "I don't". Women do not need balance. They need some encouragement, but they also need to be left alone and determine success in their own time. Work-life balance is an illusion. It does not exist. So stop chasing it and work towards a world where women can choose the things that fulfill them without the strain of wanting to reach some magical, unreachable bar.

The writer is qualified with an MS degree from NUST, has served as the Associate Editor to the NUST Journal (NJIPS). She is currently working as Sub-Editor at the Institute of Regional Studies (IRS), Islamabad.
Email: [email protected]